


Unrequited

by duncecat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, does this count as sadstuck? who knows lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 02:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20463269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duncecat/pseuds/duncecat
Summary: After letting his feelings going unspoken for so long, Karkat decides to do what he does best - Speak them. It doesn't go exactly as he had hoped it would.





	Unrequited

The weekend had rolled around on the meteor once again. Of course, there weren’t _really_ days on the meteor like there used to be on Earth, or even Alternia for the matter. But everybody had a way of hanging onto the things they understood, especially the boy in the oversized sweater, who couldn’t bring himself to part with those harmless concepts. The longer he’d spent just adjacent to the concept of time, the more he found himself longing to step back into it, properly. But that was besides the point.  
The point was that on the weekends, he got to enjoy movie nights with his best friend. And there was very little he enjoyed more than that. He currently sat on the couch, the film playing out in front of them. And as the protagonist on-screen spoke, it struck a chord within Karkat. A chord that had been playing quite the melody for quite a while now.  
His heart beat in his chest. How long had it been now? He thought back. At least a sweep, it had to be. It felt like forever. Every second felt like an eternity and when he tried to look back at all those seconds together, they seemed to stretch out incomprehensibly. But had it been long enough…?  
He exhaled. He couldn’t explain it, especially not after waiting so long, but now felt like the perfect time to say it.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too, bro.”  
Karkat paused, risking a glance towards him. Then he added, “I mean like… really.”  
“Again, same to you. Don’t go making it weird though.” Dave chuckled a bit, leaning back and relaxing into the seat. Again, Karkat glanced. Just a quick look at his hand, resting so comfortably on the couch. His index finger tapped on the cushion of the couch. He must be thinking about the next song he wanted to make. He couldn’t wait to hear the song. He couldn’t wait to hold his hand. And he was sick of waiting to tell him.  
His feelings burned in his chest, and burned in his throat as he tried to force them out. He felt like his eyes were burning as he looked at his best friend, so close next to him. He was forced to turn his gaze away as he muttered what he needed to say.  
“Like… romantically.”  
It fell silent. In that sudden moment all that could be heard was the cheesy human romance movie playing on the TV. And Dave went completely still. When Karkat looked up at Dave once again, his face was as inscrutable as always.  
“Dave…?” he questioned, unable to stand the uncertainty.  
He had to feel the same way, didn’t he? He’d seen how he acted towards everyone else, there wasn’t a single person on this meteor that he trusted more than him. All the casual friendly “I love you’s,” the “dude nights” where they got to watch movies together like this. All the brofists and the pats on the backs and the occasional smile he could see resting on his lips, even though he always tried so hard to keep that poker face of his steady. He didn’t give that to anybody else, and certainly not in the same way. It had to mean something… didn’t it?  
Dave muted the TV. One hand moved up to move some of his hair out of his face. Karkat’s eyes shone with hope for a fraction of a second, before he realised that that wasn’t a suave hair-shift. Far from it.  
Karkat started sweating, not from excitement, but from anxiety and regret. Dave broke the silence with a sigh. The quiet returned again for a few moments. Karkat’s heart beat fast, and he wasn’t sure if he could stomach what he would hear next. But he was frozen in place, and his legs refused to move.  
“...It’s...” Dave began to talk, but trailed off as quickly as the words cut the air. Karkat’s breath hitched, and he blinked to force the tears back from where they threatened at his eyes. His fist trembled, as much as he tried to suppress it.  
“...I… Don’t.”  
“Are you sure though?” Karkat’s voice wavered, and it didn’t take a linguistics expert to recognise it. At least Dave gave him the courtesy of not looking at his face.  
“Like… I’ve thought about it before… I mean, who doesn’t consider that kind of thing about his best bro at some point? But, well, it’s just that-”  
“Just that what?” His words fell out of his mouth quicker than he could think them. He didn’t really want to know what followed. He didn’t know why he asked. He wished he hadn’t. He wished he hadn’t brought it up at all.  
“I don’t. I just… don’t. Sorry.” Dave’s face was still turned away from him, and Karkat was grateful for it. He was less grateful for the tears welling in his eyes, which he was blinking back now with more desperation. He knew that if he began that he wouldn’t be able to stop, and the only thing that could make this moment worse would be breaking like that in front of the most important person he knew.  
“Are you sure we couldn’t just try it though, Dave? I’d try so hard to make it work- I’d put so much effort into making you happy- And it’s not like much would even change anyway, we already do so much together as friends and-”  
“And I don’t see you that way, Karkat. Please just… accept it. I don’t want to make you upset, alright?”  
Karkat couldn’t bring himself to respond to that one. Too late, he thought to himself. He continued to sit, frozen, trying and failing to move his eyes up from the floor. His vision kaleidoscoped from the refractions of his tears, and his heart fragmented within his chest. He felt like his world was falling apart. How could he even begin to put that into words?  
He didn’t have to, because the next thing he knew, he was crying. He tried to stop, to stop sobbing so loud, to stop feeling sick to his stomach, to stop the red-tinted tears from sinking into the fabric of his turtleneck. But, try as he could, he couldn’t stop it.  
He could feel Dave’s eyes boring into him now. His hand hovered nervously above Karkat’s shoulders for a moment, before Karkat rolled away from it and off of the couch, standing. His legs felt like they’d collapse beneath him.  
“Dude, look, I’m sorry that-”  
“I know!” Karkat bit his lip, though it did little to block out his sobs. “I know. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have said anything... I’m sorry.” And with that, he escaped the room before Dave could get another word in edgewise.


End file.
